


Are you really out there?

by Stardweller



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 18:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardweller/pseuds/Stardweller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan always had feelings for the commander even though he never admitted them and now he has difficulty to move on after Shepard was MIA after Normandy SR1 was blown up by the collectors.  All hope seems to be lost… until a certain letter from the shadow broker that is!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are you really out there?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything of the mass effect universe! The words between the lines are taken from “memories of a girl I haven’t met yet” By celldweller.

_In this lonely place…_

It was a clear night on the citadel as Kaidan leaned heavily on the balcony of his apartment, taking the view of the passing warships in with a sigh.  They were all preparing to leave the citadel and to defend the rest of the colonies after the strange disappearances of  “freedoms progress”. The council denied up until now  that there was something going on in the galaxy but apparently they started to worry.  They would never admit that a certain commander could have been right all along and this could be the work of the reapers, but at least they sent ships to defend the colonies. Kaidan figured that, even if the council believed there was nothing to worry about, the disappearance of two colonies should be investigated.        

_Bathed in silence_

Kaidan watched an alliance cruiser pass by when he thought of his earlier briefing with councilor Anderson the former captain of the Normandy. Officially Kaidan was supposed to leave on a mission tomorrow to install some new defense towers on the colony of Horizon but unofficially the staff commander was to investigate the disappearances.  There were rumors within the alliance of collector involvement but the collectors remained a myth in the galaxy and nothing was for certain. If Kaidan would be successful in his secret mission, councilor Anderson, had implied there was a possibility he would be recommended as the new and second human specter.  Kaidan wasn’t sure if he wanted to be a specter or if he was the most qualified for that matter “To be a specter what is that like commander…?”

_And thoughts of you..._

He reminisced  in the thoughts of the former Normandy commander taking another sigh before stepping from the balcony into his bedchamber. He had a decent apartment for an alliance staff commander, a specious bedchamber, bathroom, living room and of course a fantastic view on the presidium. The ceiling of the bedroom even had a hollow projector installed which showed the galaxy with the ‘seven sisters’ in the middle as a center piece.

_I cant see your face_

He walked towards the bed and past his picture the commander had taken on earth during shore leave. He smiled at that, “you said it was your first time on earth huh?... Liar” They spend a whole week together with the old Normandy crew at a lake house near Vancouver. The whole week Shepard had claimed he never had visited earth before, but on the last day, he still managed to order a perfect hotdog for Kaidan and himself. Kaidan knew he had been deceived right then. Hot dogs are an earth only delicacy, every earthborn knew that. A normal spacer like Shepard wouldn’t be able to order a perfect hot dog with just the right amount of sauce and onions. 

_But I’m Trying_

He let himself fall on the bed and grabbed his PDA to read that suspicious letter again. Apparently the shadow broker had his personal address and sent him a message that Sheppard might be still alive. For the past two years Kaidan had difficulty with accepting commander Shepard’s death. Despite the odds and even when he was the only one he had always believed that Shepard was still alive out there, somewhere… That was until recently.

_To envision you…._

A few months ago they had recovered some of the crews dog tags including those of commander Shepard. Kaidan had been devastated, staring blankly in front of him for hours, long hard cries in the shower when nobody could hear them and endless sobbing in his pillows. He had finally managed to come to terms with his death and that his secret admiration for the commander would remain unanswered when this letter came popping up.

The letter stated that Shepard body was indeed recovered by mercenary groups and was delivered to an unknown Cerberus facility. Even though Shepard was technically dead, the shadow broker believed they were planning on bringing him back. In what state however was unknown.

Kaidan read the letter a hundred times and still couldn’t decide on what to think of it. He leaned back in his pillows staring at stars projected on the ceiling.

“Sow commander are you really up there,

Are you awake with memories  

Of a boy you haven’t met yet

Who wished upon the Pleiades? “

Kaiden closed his eyes as he once again wished for seven times on the seven sisters to see his love companion just one more time… 


End file.
